Epilogue

one week and 3 days following my procedure

I was feeling very crampy all morning at work

doubled over with pain at one point

or maybe it was two

busy and rushing around

through the pain

trying to tie up loose ends

and prepare

as an overachiever does

for an upcoming project

but the pain was persistent

and I was a little worried

about feeling this amount of pain

in that part of my body

a full week after my initial procedure

I was standing up eating a piece of carrot cake

during a conference room birthday celebration

(doesn’t everyone eat cake when their uterus is cramping?)

***

Ladies,

I felt something happen

down there

something very not right

I rushed to the bathroom

to discover

everything was, indeed,

not right

down

there

I was hemorrhaging

and lo!

hello!

lovely

giant

blood clot

the size of my

fist

oh.

shit.

this process repeated itself

in rapid succession

over the next

45 minutes

during which time

I called the doctor

and made my way to the ER

After about 6 hours

following severe cramping

(think… contractions)

blood tests

2 kinds of ultrasounds

that were INCREDIBLY painful

given the angry state of my uterus

followed by one delightful

shot of pain killing narcotic-like substance

it was determined that I still had

Products of Conception

remaining in my uterus

there was still blood flow to these

products

the OB/GYN doc on call in the ER (who consulted with my own OB/GYN)

recommended that we do

a second D&C

in order to clear

everything out

apparently is not unheard of…

that during an initial procedure the doctor may not get “everything” out

essentially, this is what happened to me

and so my body decided that this was the moment to actually

miscarry

the remaining bits of baby yolk and/or placenta

my body insisted on carrying around

the blood tests  – called “titers” — test the hormone levels in your system

they tell the doctors how the hormone levels decline, by the numbers,

once the pregnancy hormones leave the body following a failed pregnancy

the decline should happen as the “products of conception”

are removed/depart from the uterus

apparently my numbers were still high

which was an indication

that my uterus was not fully evacuated during the first procedure

so, after about 9 hours in the ER

with my Saint of a Husband by my side

I was prepped for the OR

and had the second D&C around midnight

I stayed overnight in the hospital

so they could check my blood levels the following morning

I slept like a rock that night in the hospital bed

***

today, I am feeling significantly better

I do have to go back in for a 3rd blood draw this afternoon

to be sure that the titers show the appropriate decrease in hormone levels

the doctor expects to see at this point

most of all

I am relieved

that my body seems to be really and finally recovering

I am feeling better

closer to normal

not as tired as I was feeling

since taking iron supplements each day to get my blood  levels back to normal

I honestly do feel better

mentally

emotionally

I think I’m OK, too

I’ve had some weepy moments

and moments of great frustration

but mostly

I just want to move through this process to get to the other side

I’ve had some fears about my ability to get pregnant again

The doctors get so grave and serious when they are explaining

the risks of the procedure

things like

scar tissue

the possibility of puncturing the uterine wall

the possibility that they still will not get everything out during the procedure

and the same thing could happen again

what??!?!?

but that’s uncommon

and my doctor has never seen that happen

I think I am in the clear this time

and I guess we’ll see what happens

when we are able to start trying to get pregnant again

only time will tell

I wanted to write about this because

I’ve never heard of this happening

to anyone I know:

a D&C ENCORE? – seriously?!

that’s like the makings of a script for Grey’s Anatomy

or some other b-plot from a soap-opera-style-fictional-television-show

not my life

but after a little google search

it’s turns out… it’s not as uncommon as one would think

I also felt like…

my initial post

would be incomplete

without this part

of the story

so there it is

If you have read this far

I hope this gives you some comfort

if you have experienced something similar

or if you haven’t experienced it yourself,

you have some background when your best girlfriend (or your wife)

goes through something similar

the odds are 1 in 4 for a failed pregnancy

we are not alone in this life

there is always an opportunity to commiserate

and to feel connected to the human race

even in the dark moments

I think if you can bring yourself to “talk” about them

you may just be able to see the

light on the other side

© 2010 – 2011, Laura Lee. All rights reserved.